Where do I begin? Check out my facebook page for pictures of Italy. I have so many stories to tell, but right now there are more pressing issues on my heart.

What is love? It's always seemed so clear to me. I can give you all the cliche answers, but do I really know what love is? Furthermore, do I love? Do I love always? For the past year, I've been learning so much about so many cool Jesus-things.... Healing, tongues and prophecy, faith that is deep and lasting, offering all that I have, allowing God to bless me, finding balance and contentment in a crazy world, and so much more. I've been overwhelmed with the depths of God's love. It's beyond what I can fathom.

For the first time in my life, I had an "ah-ha!" moment when reading I Corinthians 13. For some reason, it just clicked. It made sense. I've been so selfish lately. I've only been concerned with protecting my heart, not being vulnerable, not getting my hopes up, not trusting too much, making sure I don't emotionally invest in something that might cause me pain, being angry with other people for their mistakes, justifying my anger based on their wrongdoing, cutting myself off from people who have hurt me and might hurt me again, wanting healing NOW, proving that I am successful... the list goes on. It's kind of rediculous, actually. Where did my love go? I put up a barrier with the intention of "guarding my heart," and in reality, that barrier has created a dangerous environment that is lacking love.

I want to love. I'm realizing that the act of love is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be.

Now read I Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I'm leaving for Rome in four days! Wow...reality hasn't hit me yet. How did this happen? Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that I caught myself in a late-afternoon dream-land and decided to blog about it? Within two weeks of that post, the opportunity to go to Italy practically jumped into my lap. God is crazy. He is abundantly pouring out blessings in my life, and my heart is overwhelmed. Praise Him!

The details....

Jen and I, along with Mike and Joe, are leaving Saturday afternoon for Rome. After a whirlwind of tourist attractions (Sistine Chapel, Colosseum, St. Peter's, Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon), we'll take a Tuesday train to the heart of Tuscany. After a few days in Florence, we head further north to Venice where we'll spend the rest of the trip. We'll arrive back in the States late Saturday night with blistered feet, hours of stories, memories that will last a lifetime, and hopefully a few pairs of Italian leather shoes!

I'm most excited about watching the sunset while enjoying a picnic dinner on Janiculum Hill (overlooking Rome), sipping espresso in a little cafe on a side street (in any of the three cities), exploring the Tuscan countryside on foot, and dressing up for an elegant dinner by the water in Venice.

How is this happening? I don't have enough words to describe just how crazy this feels. I'm living my dreams! ...but how does that happen? I feel so blessed and so undeserving to have such an opportunity.

In addition, God has worked in so many amazing ways throughout the planning process. He's healed broken hearts, mended relationships, and set captive hearts free. :-) Healing is beautiful.

Today marks the one year anniversary of starting this journey of healing. I'm pet sitting at Uncle Kevin and Aunt Michelle's house. Pet sitting. I still can't get over it. It was 12 months ago that I was on 5 medications, 2 shots weekly, and still avoiding animals like the plague. Hopeless. Hurting. Weary. Lacking faith.

Now I rejoice daily for my health. Oftentimes, I'm overwhelmed by God. My mind cannot comprehend his power and love. My God heals. MY GOD HEALS!

So many sleepless night, wondering if this sickness was the will of God for my life.
So many moments paralyzed with fear, wondering if life would always be like this.
So many hopeless doctors appointments, wondering if my condition would continually worsen for the rest of my life.

My God heals. Do you hear me, Christian? My God heals! :-)

In other news, I'm going to Italy in five weeks. It's all God, just so you know. He's crazy like that.

Praise Him!

Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

I want to go to Italy. ....start in Sicily and head north, hitting all the major cities. And maybe by the time I get to Venice, I'll want to stay in Europe forever. :-) I just need three months, a backpack of essentials, and a few really close friends. (Oh yeah... and money!)

I was so incredibly encouraged by the Psalms today. I was struggling, so I went to the Psalms, determined to stay there until my heart connected with one. Well, my heart connected with one... and then another... and I just couldn't get out. (love it!)

Psalm 27

The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?

When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I see: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD